Since I was in high school, I have always been someone to load my social and professional calendars up to the brim with things that make me happy. In high school I: belonged to the drama club, the interact club, the french club, band, chorus, madrigals, I performed in plays and musicals, I was the field hockey manager, I babysat on the weekends and worked at Columbia Association on weeknights. On top of all that, I was always everywhere with my friends...out and about at the mall or other people's houses, random drama parties on the weekends, etc. I literally did not stop. I both hated and loved my passion for wanting to do everything so bad that it meant doing it all at once, even if it sacrificed my sanity.
I'm still pretty much the same way today, for better or worse. I am always busy with work in general; it's part of being a teacher. It's a very complex, tedious, and hard job where there is always more work to be done. To add to that, I have always made my students a priority and by that I mean that I always tell them that I am their #1 fan. So I try to make it to all of their chorus and band concerts, the enrichment fairs that show off their projects, plays, etc. Well, if I stay for those, I usually just stay right on through from the end of school by doing work until the show starts.
Then there's my social/personal loves...seeing my best friends at least a couple times a week, trying to stay on top of working out so that I can feel better about how I look, going on the computer late at night to facebook with other friends or just to check emails or blog, etc.
It's a lot, and I know it is. I know that I am always busy and it's not always easy for me to be spontaneous with much. But for some reason, there has always been a little voice in my head that tells me it's ok to be stressed out with all this, because it's all stuff I want to do really bad, so I'm just going to do it...even if I'm flat out exhausted by the end of the day and don't get to bed until late, only to wake up in the morning sleep-deprived.
I know this method of mine has many flaws, and even while writing this I know that I should probably slow down more often, and not jam pack my week nights and weekends. But it's just so hard for me to want to not have anything planned. I like knowing that something fun is coming up, and that I won't be just sitting around, even though sometimes I need that.
This week for instance:
Monday: Work, went to an outing with students after school, worked out for 1 1/2 hours
Tuesday: Field Trip at work, worked out with co-worker after school, ran errands, had dinner, went back to school for Strings Concert
Wednesday: Work, this is normally my babysit night but it was cancelled. I actually did relax a little this night. I didn't work out, even though I wanted to...I was so exhausted.
Thursday: Went to get bday gift for co-worker before work, early meeting at work, work all day, went and got bday gift for another co-worker, went home and did laundry, met up with Winky and helped take some stuff from the old place apart, got dinner and watched Grey's until 10, and of course now I'm blogging.
Tomorrow: Work all day of course, home to run errands/clean up, champps to meet up with co-workers, movie with co-workers and DW, sleepover
Saturday: Early morning 5K walk/run with KD to support "Girls on the Run." Plans to meet up with Daniel afterwards. Possible shoe shopping to look for wedding shoes. (B's wedding!)
Sunday: Sort-of early 5K walk to support research for Cystic Fibrosis. Get ready for Monday.
Lots to do...but I want to do all of it!! I'm crazy, I know. Gee, I wonder why my anxiety comes and goes...I know I do this to myself. And that's what's funny to me, is that I know it and still do it anyways because the pros of doing everything that makes me happy (and others happy too usually) completely outweigh the cons of not getting enough sleep, feeling rushed and/or stressed a lot of the time.
On that note, I'm going to put my laundry away and then try to get into bed before 11pm tonight!
Have a good one! :)